How I Cold DM'ed My Way into a Multimillionaire Mansion in Bel Air
Everything I've learned from the craziest week of my life, from finding the third door to exclusive networking advice from millionaires
What if I told you that your life can change from a single cold DM? You probably wouldn’t believe me. Even if you did, you’d probably brush it aside because of how seemingly insignificant of an act this seems. It’s literally just a single DM. How life-changing could that be? Well, here’s the (crazy) story of how a single DM led me to experience a 3-day tech party at a multimillion-dollar mansion in Bel Air.
Here’s everything I learned:
1. Find the Third Door
One of my all-time favorite books is The Third Door, by Alex Banayan. When he was a freshman at USC, he hacked the game show, “The Price is Right,” and used the funds he won to go on a wild mission of interviewing the world’s most successful people. He was able to get his hands on interviewing Bill Gates, Tim Ferriss, Larry King, Steve Wozniak, Quincy Jones, and Jane Goodall. My favorite quote from the book:
“Life, business, success… it’s just like a nightclub. There are always three ways in. There’s the First Door: the main entrance, where the line curves around the block; where 99 percent of people wait around, hoping to get in. There’s the Second Door: the VIP entrance, where the billionaires, celebrities, and the people born into it slip through. But what no one tells you is that there is always, always… the Third Door. It’s the entrance where you have to jump out of line, run down the alley, bang on the door a hundred times, crack open the window, sneak through the kitchen - there’s always a way.” - Alex Banayan, The Third Door
When Andrew Yeung, the “Gatsby of Tech Parties,” came to Los Angeles with his 3-day event series, Lumos House, I had a burning desire to get my foot in the door. I could’ve been like every other person and apply through the event link. But chances are, they wouldn’t allow a random young 19 y/o university student to attend a party for millionaire tech founders and investors. But what if there was a better way?
2. Simply Be Helpful
When you’re trying to get your foot in the door in an unconventional way, you don’t want to sound like you’re desperate or trying to get something out of it. When you do that, you’re going to sound entitled or egotistical. You want to strategically position yourself to be as valuable as possible. How did I do it? I offered to help. Here’s a continuation of a DM I sent to get my foot in the door:
It literally didn’t matter what I would help with. I had plenty of free time, and I was willing to take on anything they wanted me to do. So I did it. Here’s the secret: be as helpful as you possibly can. Give, give, give without expecting anything in return. That’s what landed my first job and that’s what certainly helped in this case as well. Just be helpful, and the rest will take care of itself.
3. Do it For the Story
I have an insatiable desire to live an interesting life - a life of zero regrets, a life that feels complete. Why would I want to waste these formative, youthful years following the well-worn path and live an average, mediocre life? To me, that’s a recipe for regret. We’re all running toward and away from something. To do cool things, you have to take the helm of life’s steering wheel and take these crazy leaps of faith.
"One of the strongest mental frames that has gotten me through my hardest [or the best] times is thinking: 'This will be the story that I will one day tell.' The harder it is, the bigger the dragon, the more epic the story and by consequence, the more epic the hero." - Alex Hormozi
When I was offered to help my friend return his convertible back to the rental car location all the way across Los Angeles, I could’ve said “no” and enjoyed the rest of my day. But what are the chances of doing something like this again? I was rusty from not driving for a month. I had never driven a convertible before. I had never driven in Los Angeles before. I rarely had driven by myself before.
But what if I just locked tf in, and shoot my shot? So I did.
4. Exclusive Networking Tips
During my 3 days, my communication and public speaking skills 10x’ed. I was quite literally surrounded by some of the best communicators in the tech and business world. Here are some of the best lessons I’ve learned, summed up in 3 points: don’t diminish your worth, be a magnet, and own your strengths. Sounds simple, right? Let me give you a practical example:
When I was making introductions, I was saying: “Oh, I’m just a university student.”
A better way to introduce myself would be: “I’m helping out at [venue], and I’m also a university student. I’m working on [x, y, z].”
When you’re young and have little to show for, you typically have to do a lot of outbound. Instead of people approaching you, you have to make the initiative to approach others. One hack that I’ve learned is to become a magnet - showcase your strengths. For me, that’s piano. That was how I became connected with so many people from the event - by simply doing what I did best: creating music.
5. Imposter Syndrome is Good
Sometimes, in life, you have to fake it till you make it. As a young college student, I for sure felt out of place. Whenever I wasn’t helping out, I became overly conscious about being “proper” and fitting in with the crowd. The truth is: I am an imposter. But that can be one of the greatest blessings ever. Because I know I have a lot to learn and don’t know much, I become much more open to learning and experiencing new things.
When you’re young, get in rooms where you feel like the small fish in the pond. You are, quite literally, the small fish - not just age-wise, but also on an experience and learning standpoint. You can either let insecurities or ego get in your way, or you can look at this as a learning phase. The latter will get you far in life. The former? Not so much. Keep your ego small, keep learning, and keep being a sponge for experience.
Conclusion
There you have it - the most important lessons I’ve learned from my 3 days at Bel Air. Speaking of being helpful, I was deciding whether or not to include a paywall to this essay. After some deliberation, I realize I’m not a big fan of people gatekeeping their knowledge. And I want to honor that myself. I hope this inspires you to do some crazy shit out there in the world. Let me know if you do :).
Speaking of being helpful, if you want to craft your perfect cold DM or need some support landing your first crazy experience like this, feel free to reach out @jestonlu. Oh by the way, you should totally check out ’s newsletter. It’s absolutely fire.
Rooting for you,
Jeston